so yea wats the most cliched thing on my friends list...FUCK JAVA HUT i agree not neccerly with fucking the establishment of the jave but the crowd that frequents it..including myself..
wat sucks about not having a good memory is i can't remember if i was this sad and pathetic before i started going or if this is the new me? i'm hoping its temporary because honestly I repulse myself as much as everybody else repulses me and speaking of how i'm repulsive for those that have decided i'm a "man whore" thats cool just realize the only real reason that i'm like that is because i'm in "love" with affection but i would not date anybody that frequents the hut..wow i'm finnaly using LJ for what its made for drama..i'm sorry for that..if there is a moral of this story its goodbye and i'll see u all sunday and only sundays i'm fucking done my new motivation to get a job is so i can get money so i don't have to hang out in the asshole of the asshole of mass. I'm sicking of being an asshole
I'm sick of not being abel to respect myself
I don't think i respect much these days cept my band and a few others..shit to those who might be angry about this..my bad
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    Aesop Rock

(no subject)

so i went to maine and played sober for a week. no drinks no smoking and it was fun. i jumped in the ocean and lost my nuts..i've been back for two nights and put all the drinks in my face heheehe man my nerves hurt..fucking finals....pace pace pace pace....pace pace pace pac...pace pace pace pace.....wow typiing that kinda makes ur fingers feel like there pacing........AHHAHAHA...so yea last chance slam just totally freaked me out...i'm afraid like some masked wonder will fly in and start screaming metaphors about fruit in french make the audience cum over and over and over and over than laugh and screa HAHAHAHAHHAA it was I THE ANOYNOMOUS URBAN!!!!...DAMN" or not but yea john i'm gonna punch you so hard you will shit your nuts like corn
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    sage francis...yea wat

(no subject)

If You Ruled the World: by oomarilynmonroe
national religion
Type of Government
How you take over
You would name it
You would overthrowgiggelz_001
Your second in command would besilentrogue
Your sex slave isashlingrainbow
Commander of the military:ourrejectheart
Put to death for insubordinationtheryk
Figure head in the puppet governmenthugless_tom
You are overthrown byagitated
Quiz created with MemeGen!

new poem

well i don't update ever so before the poem..stuff happens people respond things explode wake up do it again okay now that you kno wat i've been up 2 here's a new poem that doesn't have an end unless while i'm typing it up i find an end in which case forget about this and digest poem as whole than reguragate ur comments onto it i am in need of regurgitition....okay it's kinda odd....

"this poem's title is having an idenity crisis...i can relate"

My heart shatterted into a dark abyss
So vast and dark and abyss like
that the cure, the smiths and ms. plath
couldn't touch it with a ten foot tissue
and as i was reeling from this vast dark abyss like blow
She looked up at me and asked

"is it, like, hard being a writer? Like having all your emotions and junk overexagrated."

I responed by throwing her into the nearest river
Than i shot my self in the fore head
I felt guilty every time I bled
I finnaly knew what it was like to be a woman

I was over joyed with my epiphinay
Wanted to find the girl that did it to me
I waded five days down stream
Gave up and went fishing
By that time i felt like a man again
You see my wound had crusted up
With metahpors of inner wars
and warms for love and hooks for whores
and whats in store
for a boy with bullet whole
and a fishing pole
Just wait

yea thats all i have so far i suck i don't know its more of a rambling but maybe sometime i'll finish more than likely i won't peace and love and shiny thins for all
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(no subject)

bored cabin fever isn't it march? i hate snow i hate snow storms more it is six oclock i have had only one ciggeret today it's not looking like i'm gonna have many more so yea updating LJ weird i know okay that was fun heres another brand new piece like five minuets old

If I could regenerate your hymen you know I would
Sprinkle the dust of ground up fairy wings over your vagina
And everything would grow anew like the day of winters defeat
But we both have learned that time does not flow like
dirty water down a drain
Circular and simple
We can understand ballet when we can accept the inertia of
“I don’t want to be an ass hole but..”

If I could I would disembowel all the men who have lied to you
Painted the word putrid on the back of your palms
Made sure everything you touched would rot
The stench of failure following your nose
No matter which way you turn the wind follows
If I could break every last one of there will’s till they trembled before you’re feet
You know I would
But I’m not a masochist
We can understand inertia when begin to expect the ballet of
“ I don’t want to be an ass hole but..”

If I could find our innocence as easily as our shadows
Maybe we wouldn’t shake at night
Under the weight of the coming morning
I don’t want to have to deal with waking up again
So why the fuck should I fall asleep in the first place
No prayer can hold these blankets tight enough around my chest
To keep my sternum shut
I have been know to dream my self hollow
so I know
I cannot build tomorrows’s out of if only I coulds
I cannot create redemption with wish’s
I can’t stop you from visiting me when
I find my midnight peace drowning in my pillow
I can’t stop you from collecting my breaths like teeth
From beneath my humming head
Can you here the screams
Of something

If I could cultivate a garden of excuses’s to explain the moments after
When we looked in our placid eyes
And wonder is this all
If I could stomach the disgust
With our flesh
If I had the strength
To hold your world on my back
You know I would
But I am nothing
I am nothing but a foolish dreamer
And you are just a dream

weird i'm postin

I just want to say thank you to everybody that supported and helped with the show last night..you made my year
this is just an odd little thingy i wrote last night feel free to comment on it if i'm on anybodys friends list still which i doubt cause yea i don't update

‘I dwelt in a world of imagination, of dreams and air castles, - the kind of atmosphere that sometimes nourishes a genius, more often men unfitted for the struggles of life”
-James Walden Johnson, “Diary’s of an Ex-colored Man”

“You see art just doesn’t pay the bills son”
“ I know dad, that’s why I’m dealing on the side,
Don’t worry mom,
I’m becoming famous

As an underground performer, on an underground stage
I’m becoming a mole here
Don’t be scared daddy I’m selling my soul here
Getting a blue collar but hoping for a white one
Making some money I’ll be the right son
And I’ll even hide my drugs,
If you hide your’s first
It ain’t my fault all your hopes done burst
You may be caught but please let my try to break this curse
And I know you’re upset cause it’s seems you gone and raised a bum
But breathing ain’t work, breathing’s supposed to be fun”

“And that’s your excuse? That’s your fucking answer?
For living with us at the age of twenty
Stealing our cigarets,
Stinking up the house,
Leaving strange, bunny pajama clad poets in our basement
And stealing our cigarets
That’s your FUCKING EXCUSE?”

“hmmmhaha, what you don’t understand, what you don’t grasp
Is that you’re angry at me for still believing in faded dreams
of youths lost to pregnant girlfriends
And I know I’ll probably get in trouble for saying this
But what you don’t see is the reason you’re so pissed
Is I ain’t making a living here,
I’m making a life”
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